I'm not looking for my other half, because I'm not a half. I don't need completion. Alone, I am a complete person, I am a happy person, and I am more than capable of being by myself. That being said, I consider myself to be a hopeful romantic. I'm convinced that there is someone out there for me who will share in my happiness and be another whole that I can add to my life.
The Leather Pants is going to be the story of my search for the man that I can share my life with. This is an introduction to how I got to this point in my life and what pushed me toward this leg of my journey.
I am a girl who is very confident in myself and I know what I want. I have a career, a solid group of friends, hobbies of my own, a loving family, and a very happy life in general. I have dated a few men throughout my life, some relationships lasted longer than others, as they do, and some lasted just one date. From each of these men I've learned something about myself and what I'm looking for, but this year all of these things came to a head for me and led me on this new adventure. Obviously all names have been changed; I'm here to tell my story, not theirs, and I'm not here to disrespect anyone or the choices that they've made.
This summer, I had my heart broken, stomped on, and disrespected by two men. The first, Dave, I had had a crush on for years. I had known him in passing and always thought he was good-looking, but never managed the courage to actually go and speak to him. One day, it came up that we had friends in common, and we ended up at a few parties together in quick succession. Things progressed from there and we went out together a few times. He was a gentleman at first; he picked me up, opened my car door, and treated me like a queen. That is, until he got bored. My grandma had been sick for a few months and then in July she passed away. I didn't really look to Dave for comfort because I knew that whatever we had was too new to expect anything from him. I guess I'll never really know what made Dave disappear, but when I asked what happened to him he said, "I don't know, that thing with your grandma really got to me". Yeah, I can definitely see how my grandma passing away could have been tough for you, Dave. And that was that. Simple and crushing. He had proven that he was a coward and couldn't handle real situations, so I had to move on.
Following that, I received a message on Facebook from an acquaintance asking me if I was single because her friend had been checking me out and wanted to know. This would be the beginning of me and Adam. My acquaintance set up drinks one night for us to meet, we chatted in the parking lot, texted a lot, and eventually went on a date. I will say for Adam that it was one of the best first dates I've ever been on, we had an immediate connection, and the date lasted 12 hours without me getting bored of him. The next little while was filled with him pursuing me, texting me, telling me how he's never met anyone like me, and him basically leading me on. We went on a bunch of dates, got to know each other, and had a lot of fun. Things progressed quickly emotionally for both of us, or so I thought. It didn't last long, but it was an intense "relationship" if one could call it that. One day I sent a fateful text that started "Hey babe," because I call most people I'm close with either "babe", "baby" or an equivalent term of endearment. I thought nothing of sending this text and was not concerned at all. A few days later, after not having heard back from Adam, I texted him that I was getting blow-off vibes from him and that if he wasn't into it anymore then he should tell me. He responded, "I feel like you are at a different level than me. The babe thing was kind of out of the blue". This after I had tried to catch up to his level! He had pursued me, told me how into it he was, and I had believed him. I called him that night to explain that I call everyone "babe", but he didn't answer and I never heard from him again. Fret not, dear reader, Adam did not die in a freak gasoline fight accident, he is alive and well. He still communicates with anyone who didn't call him "babe" and posts shirtless pictures on Instagram. He has been added to my list of cowards that can't handle real situations and shall remain there.
From an outside perspective, those stories might not seem like the end of the world, and they definitely aren't, but they were the two inciting incidents for the rest of my story. Writing about them now and having time and distance from the emotions I can't really explain how I felt, but if you've ever fallen for someone you shouldn't have, and then had your heart broken by that person, you can imagine how I was feeling. It would be impossible for me to put all of the emotions of this summer into a blog post, but you'll have to believe that for me the feelings were real and that my heart was broken.
All this to say I was done with meeting guys through friends and through my hobbies. My work best friend had just gotten married last year and he met his wife online; one of my girlfriends met her boyfriend online; dating sites boast that anywhere between 1-in-5 and 1-in-3 relationships start online, so I began thinking, "Why not me?" Maybe this is the way people meet now, I'm certainly not young enough to go to the club and meet a guy, and if I did, he wouldn't be someone I would spend my life with. I signed up for online dating the next month, after sufficient heart healing, and that's where this story begins.
You're probably wondering, why the leather pants? The same girlfriend who met her boyfriend online has this pair of leather leggings and she looks amazing in them, I've been jealous of them for a while. So when Adam ghosted, I needed a pick-me-up. My girlfriend took me to the mall and we bought a pair of leather leggings that we then deemed my "revenge pants" because I was still feeling justifiably spiteful at the time and had decided that if Adam saw me in them he would be fittingly upset. These are the pants that my friends and I have decided I will wear on all my online dates, just to see what happens.
So sit back, relax, and watch as my leather pants and I step into the crazy, intimidating, and possibly awesome world of online dating.
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