A Date of My Own

Intro: So this is a brief note about a different kind of dating story...I was feeling a little left out of Sack Murda's tales of the leather pants! :)

Tonight I went on a date with myself. Yup. Full blown, dress up, bought tickets in advance, hairspray and lipstick date. Apparently I'm doing a lot of weird things lately. I also recently went to party alone where I knew nearly no one; but that is a story for another time.

My date was fabulous!! I loved it and I was excited for it. I didn't feel scared or worried about what people might think. (Perhaps that's because I live in a city of more than a million people and I blend in well, but let's not poke holes here, okay?) I did not feel guilty about being out without my kids. I did not even feel ashamed when I noticed all the other females in the line either had a friend or a date with them. I was pumped, awakened, thrilled even! It is the most authentic I have felt in a long time. I wanted to do it, so I did it.

I dressed up because I wasn't ashamed. This wasn't a skulk to the movies in sweats and sit in the very last row. This was a dress in my sassy pants (and boy are they sassy!) and bright purple shirt, sit right smack in the middle of the theatre–alone. I loved it!!

I got chatted up at the snack bar. I'm telling you they really were sassy pants! Who cares that he might have been playing for the other team and that he spoke so fast I suspected he might have been on something, or in the kinder, gentler, less jaded part of my heart, just nervous. It was super cute! And it felt nice.

Now let's pause here for just for a second. I'm not mentioning this occurrence to be like “I'm all that!” or to say that he then offered to sit by me and save me from the horrible embarrassment of being all alone on a Saturday night, date night. There was no need for such chivalry in this story. It was just a lovely, kind, sweet expression of connection with another human being. Someone I had never met and will never see again, but it reminded me that I am okay and that there are people in the world that might like to get to know me, when I'm ready for that. So back to the date...

I was smiling and happy all evening. I found, hey I can go out and do something I enjoy without backup (even though I have some of the best backup ever). I don't need someone else guiding my preferences or making the choices for me. I can have an opinion of my own! And holy crap, I actually enjoy my own company! This was a mini revelation for me. I have never been out on my own like this. I had become so consumed by the multitude of roles that I play that I completely forgot who I am when all the labels, roles, demands and expectations are stripped away. I forgot what I like (and don't like), what I want (and don't want), and that even when I'm alone, I'm okay. No I'm not just okay... I'm amazeballs!

I would recommend an alone date to pretty much anyone, with the exception of those who are majorly depressed and isolating themselves or those that are already completely narcissistic (Kevin, I'm talking to you!). But it needs to be a real deal. Dress up. Put on makeup (guys or girls!). Do something you find exciting or interesting, and don't be afraid to try something new! Do it loud! Do it proud! Don't sit in the back row (unless that's your favourite seat). Sit wherever you darn well like!

Becoming and being yourself is a process; a continual process of discovery. Sometimes we need others to reflect to us what we need to know and learn but other times we need to make time to be with ourselves, to remind ourselves who we are alone. Never stop spending time alone with yourself, because it’s amazing and you really are a great date!

To read more about this topic I came across a very interesting blog on Brain Pickings. Check it out: https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/09/03/how-to-be-alone-school-of-life/