From Silence to Voice Again

“Oh my God! That's such a brilliant idea!” I practically shouted at brunch with my awesome friend.

A blog where there's a group of writers. They have monthly brunches ('cause who doesn't like pancakes, bacon and other brunchy things). They offer encouragement to each other and, best of all there's some light editing. Wonderful!!! Blogging is just too much pressure, having to write every week... or more if you're really popular. This way we can share the writing. Umm... but I have to write something? Well crap!!

I have been avoiding it like the clap ('cause the plague is such a passé reference)! God no! If I write and post then people will actually read my writing! (Forget that I'm writing under a pseudonym on a pretty obscure blog that mostly only my friends will see.) But they will be reading and judging and getting annoyed with my damn run-on sentences that can go on for a paragraph at a time! Inhale and sigh!

Not only that but what do I write about? I'm not a writer! Oh no, now everyone will know I'm a fake. Was it my idea to let everyone write about anything? What the fuck was I thinking? I can handle essays, topics, top 5s–but a blank canvas? Seriously? Now not only do I have to write but I have to find a theme, my topic, the thing that will set me apart and make me worth a read in the vast junkyard of ideas and ruminations that is the interweb. I have to find my voice.

For some finding their voice is easy. They've been using it for so long it's near natural to just write it out and share it with the world. For others they've been practicing using their voice in private, secret musings. They just need the anonymity and a gentle shove of encouragement to share their creations with the world. But here I have sat choked with the prospect for at least two months. Like there is a horrible creature inhabiting my throat that squeezes every time I go to write something, choking off the flow between my heart, my head, and the page.

Then it hit me. That's what I'll write about. My search for my voice. That way I can write on any topic, in any form, with any viewpoint. I can try things out. See if they suck or if they strike a chord with my friends, er ah, readers. (So much for narrowing down my options!) But the common theme will be the search for my voice as a writer. I am practiced at giving other people a voice but what's my unique offering to the world?

There have been a great many changes in my personal and professional life which have led to a great deal of soul searching. I will draw on these experiences, as well as past experiences and writings, to present personal essays, fiction serials, poetry and whatever the fuck else I need to figure out how to express in words the things I feel moving in my heart. I hope these words on the screen will bring some joy to your life, make you think, reflect, and if not...meh!

 

PS though I appreciate the idea of an expensive bottle of scotch I have not yet acquired a taste for it. I'm shooting for really nice bottle of red wine. A Shiraz or Melbec maybe, just FYI.

Happy reading!!