But then I thought isn't that throwing the baby out with the bathwater? (Side note: very interesting history of that phrase and the first person to post it in the comment gets something awesome!)
Love is also fabulous, amazing and spectacular; when you get it right. Love is what created my two incredible children; no matter where that relationship stands now. Love can move mountains, encourage us to be our best and push us to grow in ways we never knew was possible. Love, and its close relative sex can be more addictive than drugs (not that I would know). Love can be the deepest and sweetest pain when it is unrequited and even occasionally when it is requited but the timing is wrong. We could talk about love in terms of biology, brain chemistry, survival of our species and economics. But none of this seems to fully capture love; that slippery little fucker!
So I have decided, in honor of love and all its facets, I will plagiarise... er I mean quote some of my favourite yet obscure comments on the beautiful, bittersweet emotion. I think I will also throw in a little poem of my own. Please excuse the references, grammar, and spelling (Come on spell check, don't fail me now!!). In an effort to get this posted before the end of February I had to forgo my light editing from my blogging pals. Grammar police you have been warned. Please don't judge. I hope, no matter where you are on the love/sex/relationship spectrum, you can find something here to enjoy.
"In the diary I wrote: Now we are ready
and each of us knows it I have never loved
like this I have never seen
my own forces so taken up and shared
and given back"
Adrienne Rich from Phantasia for Elvira Shatayev in Dream of a Common Language
Okay I have to add a note here. First of all you need to know, his poem was written in honor of Elvira Shatayev (no duh) who led an all-women's climbing team up Lenin Peak. The whole team froze to death in a storm then her husband climbed the mountain to find and bury the bodies. True story.
Wow, right!?!?!
To love someone so much, yet to let them go and follow their own dreams, even when it might kill them. I love you. I release you. So tough and yet important.
Also the idea of matching powers or personalities. I won't try to outshine you but I will match you and by matching make us both better. Look up the whole poem. It's awesome!
"Love, she thought, with a violent repulsion. Was it ever love? Can love ever be cemented in fear?"
Anya Seton from Dragonwyck
Hun. Good point Anya. I don't think so but it hasn't stopped me from trying.
"All the hoardings of my imagination I have laid bare to you. There isn't a recess in my brain into which you haven't penetrated."
Violet Trefusis but I don't know where it's from.
I wish. No really when I wrote this quote in my journal that's what I wrote above it. Gotta find the source one day.
"No evil dooms us hopelessly except the evil which we love, and desire to continue in, and make no effort to escape from."
George Eliot but I don't know where it's from, again.
Check, George... don't fall in love with evil shit.
"...Forgiveness in the name of love practised among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all of us love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour, unceasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family."
Henry Nouwen from The Only Necessary Thing
I have a sneaking suspicion this includes self compassion and forgiveness. Just saying. Also very validating to know we all love poorly. Competition between loving ourselves and loving others. Our needs and theirs... sigh. This shit is complex!
"I want it now. Not the promises of what tomorrow brings."
Echo and the Bunnymen from Nothing Ever Last Forever
Okay I had to include some song lyrics here because the majority of songs refer to or are about love of some kind. Just goes to show I'm not the only one that struggles to figure this stuff out. This also just happens to have been the song I was listening to while I writing in the courthouse.
Preach Bunnymen! Who is Echo by the way? And is he hot?
Love Poem #9
I love you
People say it all the time
I love you
As in I care for you
As in you make me a better person
As in I love you like the moon and stars
I love you
As in I'm afraid to be alone
As in if I say it enough it'll be true
As in all except for... your eyes, your smile, your face, your laugh, your ____....
But truthful I love yous
Contain so much more
Infinity
True You
All of you
I love you, people say it all the time
I love you
As in I'll fix you
As in you are not enough
As in you will never be enough
I love you
As in I'm hoping you'll fix me
As in make me loveable
As in please don't leave me
This I love you
Conceals so much more
Loneliness
Confusion
Grief
I love you. You complete me. People say it all the time
I love you
People say it all the time
Slippery, slimy words
A currency, a transaction
I love you, except I don't
I love you
Hiding so much more
Passion
Craving
Urges
I love you. Let's have sex. People say it all the time
Infinity. Loneliness. Passion.
I love you.
But love changes.
And right now, I don't.
These are my humble offerings on love. Hope you enjoyed and make comments... especially because you could win "something awesome"!! :)
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