Red Wine Red
Velvet Cake
So, remember how I was all, “Stay tuned for Spiced Rum and
Eggnog Cupcakes”? Umm yeah.
Remember how in my first post I talk about patience pants?
Yeah…Well you may want to put those on until next Christmas. Sorry about that one.
I did make them you know! And apparently I have changed the
opinion of one man who swears he hates both cupcakes and eggnog! They were
delish, so I am told. And, I wrote a post on how to make them. My post also
discusses what the heck eggnog even is - I still don’t know, so don’t ask. I
didn’t finish it in time for Christmas, again I’m sorry. I thought it would be
cruel to post the recipe for Spiced Rum & Eggnog Cupcakes after Christmas
when there is no longer any Nog on the shelves! That would be mean. I don’t
like being mean, unless it’s towards people who are condescending. So, if that
is you, e-mail me and I’ll send you the recipe.
It is now February, and instead of making a stupid
Valentines Recipe for stupid Valentines Day (See “Top 5 Better Days than
Valentines Day), I’ve chosen to gather my inspiration elsewhere. My aunt–one of
the most inspiring, wonderful, hilarious and down-to-earth people I have ever
had the privilege of knowing. My aunt passed away last February. She was a
devoted mother, loving wife, caring sister, true friend and the coolest of all
aunts. She taught me that life is precious and loved ones even more so, and to
love the little things and go for your big dreams. Any time I am facing
something difficult in my life, whether it’s heartbreak, work struggles or not
fitting into my pants, I think, “What would my aunt have said?” Most likely,
she would’ve said, “You’ve got this! Now go have a glass of wine.” or something
along those lines (Though if I’m whining about how my pants are too tight the
response would probably be closer to, “Oh shut up and drink this!”). My aunt loved red wine. In fact, if you are a
female in my family and you don’t love red wine then you were likely switched
at birth or adopted. That’s fine, we still love and accept you as long as you
learn to love red wine...and soon.
I was wracking my brain thinking about what I could possibly
bake with red wine when, voila! Red Velvet popped into my head. I’ve never
really liked the idea of red velvet with all its food dye and stuff but I have
made it with beet juice before and that was pretty…though it tasted a little
like dirt, as beets do.
This recipe took me a few tries to master but according to
my family and some fantastic friends who volunteered to taste test; it’s moist,
fluffy, and best of all, tastes great. From what I’m told, the cream cheese
icing pairs well with the wine in the cake. Who doesn’t love wine and cheese?
Maybe those switched-at-birth kids.
Ingredients:
I cup vegetable oil
½ cup milk (any kind, even lactose free works)
1 cup of wine (and the rest you get to drink, yay!)
2 eggs
2 tsp (ish) vanilla
2 ½ cups flour
1 ½ cups granulated sugar
1 tsp baking soda (my notes say 1 tsp BS, ha!)
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cocoa powder
2 tsps vinegar
Tiny bit of red gel food dye
Baking
Instructions:
So, here’s how it goes. Open a bottle of wine and pour
yourself a glass. That’s kind of a mandatory first step. Take the cream cheese
and butter out of the fridge so it can soften for your icing later. Top up your glass of wine.
Again, because I am lazy, I put all the wet ingredients
(minus the vinegar!) in a big bowl and mix it all together. The wine, oil and
milk look strange together but I promise it’s not curdling or anything. Then, I add all the dry ingredients into the
same bowl and mix some more, trying not to over mix. Now you can add the
vinegar… I don’t know why now and not earlier, that’s just how I felt it should
be done.
At this point the batter looked like light brown mud so I
did end up putting a tiny amount, like the end of a toothpick worth, of gel red
food dye. I like the gel better because you only have to use the smallest
amount and it goes a long way. This is, of course, totally your choice; maybe
you like bright red cake and teeth!
Pour the batter into two 9 inch round baking pans as evenly
as possible, which I find is super hard to do, but try your best and fill up
your wine glass.
Tap the pans on the counter top to try to get the bubbles
out and throw it in the oven at 350 degrees F for 25 minutes. (Check your cake
at the 20 minute mark with a toothpick).
When I was baking this I forgot to turn the oven on earlier to allow it
to preheat (each time, yes). I was not unhappy about this because it meant I
should probably sit down and drink more wine.
Pull the cakes out and let them sit for a few minutes until
they are cool enough to turn out onto a wire cooling rack. Drink more wine.
They end up looking like chocolate cakes on the outside, but
they are red on the inside.
While the cakes are cooling you can make the icing and drink
some more wine. Put the cream cheese and the butter in a bowl and mix (I used
beaters but if you don’t have those you can use your muscles!). Add the vanilla, milk and icing sugar and
beat until smooth. Ice the cakes however you’d like! I decided at the last
minute to put cinnamon hearts on mine, not because it’s V-day, but because
cinnamon hearts are fun.
Enjoy with family, friends, loved ones, whoever, and for
whichever occasion you want, or no occasion at all, just as long as you enjoy
it with wine.
If my aunt were still here, I would make this cake for her
birthday! With wine.
Have fun! You should have a totally empty bottle of wine by
the end of this recipe. If not, you have done something wrong.
Until next time,
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